Testimonies

All testimonies are used with permission specifically for this venue.

Testimony 1

I came to the single parent family program as I was struggling with returning to school. My son had just graduated from high school and moved on campus at college. My daughter was still in junior high. Within three years, she had experienced her father moving out, her mother gone several nights a week in school, and then her brother moving out. It was a very difficult time for her. It was also a difficult time for me as I had to complete the degree program while I had my time-limited spousal support. I was also working, and trying to care for both of our physical and emotional needs.  There was just so much pain and anger. She did not ask for all of this, and I did not know how to help us deal with it. Her grades were slipping and I was afraid I might lose custody of her if she did not do well. We were both hurting. When I took the “Love & Logic” class, I could see that I was contributing to her stressors. Actually, my expectations had become one of her major stressors, and her school performance had become one of mine. This class helped me begin to contain our areas of conflict. Not that we still didn’t have them, but now I could begin to parent in a way that was empathetic and yet allowed her to take responsibility for the consequences for her own behavior. I learned how to let go of my expectations and face my fears, and this gave her the freedom to do the same.

Today our relationship is improved and she is doing well in school again. There was a lot of work I needed to do outside of class, but it was the material in the class, and the warmth and acceptance of the class participants that helped me see I had more options for moving through the conflict than I had previously thought.

–name withheld by request

Testimony 2

Not so long ago I remember how lonely I was in my worst periods of divorce and depression, with regrets and anxiety about the future. With Westminster single parents, I found other Christian women that I could relate with that were trying the best they could to raise children in a single household. They were there to hold me up, just by being. Unknown to them they were the steady link I needed to carry me over. When I had cancer and loss of job, it was Theresa that reached out and came to visit in my recovery. And only through giving back as one of the leaders on the team of SPM did I realize the extent of God’s graces. In hearing other women’s stories and in my own, I can see God’s work and blessings.  It is a warm, embracing and accepting place. A safe place. To just “be,” or to learn, find friends, nurture your children, strengthen your faith. It’s family.

Linda Lander

Testimony 3

As a newly single parent, I looked for a single-parent family program where my children and I could develop some good friendships and skills, and at the same time have fun together. I had already been through a divorce recovery program, and I did not want to join a singles group. I wanted something that included my children. The Single-Parent Family Ministry at Westminster Chapel was the only program I found that addressed my family’s needs.  I really appreciated the classes for parents. I found “Core Communication” and “Parenting with Love & Logic” to be the most helpful. The failure of my marriage was difficult to endure, and those two classes helped me to look at the content of my communications – especially with my ex-husband and my children – and not get sucked into an emotionally charged exchange. Both classes helped to teach me not to take things so personally when interactions involved other people’s misbehavior. I could focus on the issues I needed to focus on without feeling powerless or overwhelmed.

It was not only my family who benefited from my new skills, virtually every other relationship I had saw improvement as well. As I gained more confidence, I felt like I was being knit into a community of other families who understood the challenges we faced as single parents.

–name withheld by request